avoid

Questions, comments, and general things to avoid saying to a pregnant person:

“Oh you’re due at the END of August?  It’s gonna be a HOT summer for you!”

– Really? Oh wow, it’s hot during June, July and August in New England? I haven’t lived here my entire life so I wasn’t sure what the temperatures were going to be like. I was hoping for mid 60s, but you’re saying it’s going to be in the 90s?? NO WAY. Shoot better head to Alaska for the last few months of this pregnancy.

“Oh, you’re not due until the END of August? I thought you were further along.”

– Yup. 10 more weeks to go. Thanks for telling me I look huge, the scale I stepped on this morning didn’t remind me that on it’s own. I am aware I have a bowling ball on my stomach already and that it’s only going to get bigger (and hotter, see above.)

“What are you doing about work after the baby?” – From a co-worker

– noneyadamnbusiness! Also, dude, I’m not going to tell YOU my coworker what my plan is. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you are?

“Was this baby a surprise?”

– (Note – this wasn’t said to me but to someone else but I am still raging about it.) UMM are you kidding. Seriously? Serrrrrrrriously? Did you just ask that question?  I have no words except – you are dumb and you should sit in the corner and think about how dumb you are for asking this question.

“Both of my babies were 2 weeks late.”

– Awesome!  I have been counting down the days, weeks, months since the second I found out I was pregnant and now you’re telling me again (and again) that I should be adding two weeks to that timeline? THANKS, but no.

“I only gained 17 pounds while pregnant, how much have you gained so far?”

– Are we back to the scale again? My doctor says I’m fine. 17 pounds is not in the normal range. That is ridiculous. 25-30 is normal. No, I will NOT tell you how much weight I have gained. Thanks for sharing yours. BTW you look like you gained more than 17 pounds. Justsayin.

“The baby will be four weeks old, he’ll be fine without you.”

– Thanks but I am a first time mother so for all I know a four-week old needs me to breathe for him. I understand there is an event that day and I will do my best to be there, but my baby is my priority for at least the first three months.

“Is the nursery ready?”

– First of all, it’s the baby’s room. It will be his room after he is an infant. (Sorry random personal pet peeve on that one.) But no, it’s not ready, as mentioned previously we still have 10 weeks to go. Also we are quite busy (again another personal thing but people who know us should know our travel schedule and extreme lack of spending time at our house.) ALSO, we are very lucky to have a large group of family and friends who will be attending not one, but two showers in our honor, so we will see what lovely gifts they gift us and see what we need to purchase from there. With.that.said. We bought our own furniture and YES it is all set up and ready to go.

“Do you have names picked out?”

– This one is okay alone. BUT when I respond with the polite: “we’ve got it narrowed down but we are keeping it a surprise!” please, PLEASE do not say to me “but I can keep a secret” – “I won’t tell anyone” – “Is it Greg Junior??” – “Are you using a family name?” – “Is it Phil?” – “You should name him after me.” – “Oh come on just tell me!!!”

Okay sorry for my rage black out there for a little bit, I just feel like people need to take a quick step backwards before jumping into asking a pregnant lady questions. We are hormonal. (clearly) We are tired. We are also HOT. (See question 1) Please just say nice things and tell me my baby will be happy and healthy.  mmmkthanksbye.

–please feel free to add any awesome questions been asked so I can not feel like a crazy person.–

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “avoid

  1. I try to avoid most questions. I usually leave it at “You look great!” and “I hope the next few weeks/months and nice and easy for you.” I was talking to a friend who is having twins and had to go to the hospital cause she had started to go into labor at 31 weeks and they wanted to keep the babies in their longer. I mentioned that my parents were both twins and both born at 7 and a half months and were fine. She was like “oh my goodness that makes me feel so much better. They were fine back then? I’m sure then these kids will be fine now if they come earlier.” I also think that new moms like to hear some parenting fail stories. It takes the pressure off to be a perfect mom. “What? You wanted to just leave the screaming brat in the house while you went to get a iced latte? Me too!!”

    • Those are all awesome things to say …. especially the part about the screaming baby – I hate how people always try to sugar coat things. Just like your love for your husband – your love for your children will endure all – but they’ll still make you crazy sometimes!!

  2. Love this post. 🙂 Luckily, these have all been fairly obvious to me and I don’t think I’ve said any of them besides asking if a name is picked out. But I definitely wouldn’t push it if the couple didn’t want to share!

  3. Kate Duval

    I get the big comments a lot…actually most people say, “Oh, when are you DUE??” And I reply…right now, four more weeks or so….and they’re all, “You’re NOT going to make it…I can tell.” Not only does it get my hopes up that I might go early…you’re also telling me I’m the size of a house. Thanks. And, BTW, I got this same thing throughout the pregnancy with Emmie and had to wait until the EDD to have her even though everyone said I would GO EARLY. 🙂

    • I do not even let myself think I am going to go a minute early. I have to just keep telling myself not to count less then the EDD. I can’t wait to meet baby Duval #3!!!

  4. I just try to stick with a smile and “you look fantastic!” when I see a pregnant woman. 🙂 These types of questions are just ridiculous and people should learn to keep their damn mouths shut.

  5. A nn

    When/if you get to a second child and it is a girl you will get…”A boy and a girl? Great! You can be done now!” Ummm please don’t insinuate that my family planning revolves around gender preferences or statistics or imply that there is some form of perfect family for ME based on some kind of gender radio or formula that YOU have established.

  6. shannon

    you crack me up colleen! this was me last summer 🙂 keep up the good work, stand your ground, take your time with things and forget what everyone else says. i’d give you a big hug if i were closer! can’t wait to meet this baby!

  7. I feel you. I know there are a million questions that drive pregnant women CRAZY. I always try to go for broad and general, even though I’m TOTALLY dying to know every last detal.

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